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To Play to His Tune.

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The surrendered bow,
A tool in the musician’s right hand to make music.
The bow has no choice of direction; it simply follows the guided hand. The hairs are stretched tight, uncomfortable, yet when pulled just so it produces music that inspires people and brings holy tears.

Music that moves individuals closer to God, the Maker of Life itself.
What if you and I could have the same power as a violin in a crowded world? What if our quiet surrenders could call people to JESUS?
What if you and I could motivate people, encourage others to seek fully after God? What if our quiet surrender was what allowed others to see Him, hear Him, in the dark? What if our lives were the beautiful song, the testimony of His grace in the middle of brokenness?
“There are many are the plans in a man’s heart, nevertheless the LORD’s counsel that will stand.” Prov. 19:21 (NJKV)

In many ways, this is how God is with me.
I complain and tell the Lord how I believe the song of my life should be written. This thing should happen here, and then this will happen, so the song of my life should sound like so. I must let God lead me in His own personal song for me, a song of surrender, a release of control.  I must release how I want my life to look and not expect my music to sound like anyone else’s. God’s plan for each of us is uniquely structured so He can receive the most glory, even through our broken hearts.

The painful hours of being lifted and played God’s way is necessary in life, for growth. My pulling and pushing away from God, from growing His way, only makes things harder, less harmonious. My stubborn spirit only makes the process of surrender longer. This struggle hinders intimacy with my Creator and stunts my growth.
Why would I argue with the Maker of life itself? The bow does not have a mind of its own. It can make no music unless a hand holds it, and guides it, carefully purring the right strings, at the right time, to the music written before the musician. The music is not random, but carefully chosen. When God pulls me in certain directions, I wonder why? How? This makes no sense! I can’t see what You’re doing God! Can’t you tell me? Change the music! Change the key, make it lower, higher! Make the pain go away! Make me beautiful and holy without suffering!

On and on my demands go….

No one chooses difficulty. But that is what makes us stronger, makes us understand God’s love, and know His presence in ways that would’ve been foggy before. Some of the notes will make no sense until the song of my life is finished, and the LORD lifts the bow. Finished, His way, His timing.
Then it all will make sense, every struggle. I will see the notes on the side of eternity and every heartache, tear, and unanswered question will make sense. I will wish that I had surrendered sooner, given more, and complained less.
I want to rest in Him and allow Him to lead, allowing Him to conduct my life, one measure at a time.
Until the end of my piece, the end of my life.
When the bow is finally raised, may the applause be for JESUS, my KING.

 

“For My thoughts, are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways,’ says the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:8-9 (NKJV)

 

 

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photos taken by Anna. ❤

Thank you to my lovely editor C.A. M. ❤

Hope Through the Tears

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This has been the darkest season of my life. But in my soul I know that Jesus fights for me. He is for me and He stands behind me. He has never left me, and He walks with me through the valley. Every day, I have moments when sadness overwhelms me, but God stands firm and His love continually washes over. Way back in January (2019) my word for the year was hope. The valley of the shadow of death, is anything but hopeful. What I love about Psalm 23:4 is it says, “Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for You are with me.” “I walk through.” By God’s grace I will not stay in the valley. I will come back hopefully more like Him then when I went in. And that gives me hope. ,
“Yet, He knows the way I have taken; when He has tested me, I will emerge as pure gold.” Job 23:10 (HCSB)
Never in a million years would I have wanted my tragedy to be etched so deeply into my story. But I wonder if God loved me too much to leave me complacent. God knew that I loved Him before the tragedy, but He continues to call to me to come closer, go deeper. I want to emerge out of this valley of death more reflective of Him. I cannot move or breathe without Him.
Today was hard, really hard. I have to go to work. I have to get out of bed and get in the car and keep going with my life. I have to put one foot in front of the other and breathe in and out. Quitting is not an option. Each new day is a miracle from God. I want to run back in bed and pretend it never happened. But I must grieve with God and all who love me. I am not alone. Like I said, today was hard. I was trying to hold it together but inside I was falling apart. I was taking groceries out to a customer. I was hungry, my hair was a disaster, and one of my earrings had fallen out! Ah! I began my normal procedures for dispensing. My customer smiled big and launched into her little speech. “God told me to buy a coffee for whoever brought my groceries out. I’m so glad it was you!” She thrust an extra-large cup of coffee into my shaking hands.
And then I lost it. All the emotions I had bottled up inside of me came gushing out in big heaving sobs. I couldn’t stop crying! Thankfully I hadn’t put makeup on that morning. She smiled in a caring motherly sort of way. She didn’t ask me to explain my messy, tragedy. She took my hands and she prayed. She asked Jesus to cover me in His love. Actually, to be honest I don’t remember much of her prayer, only that she said, ” God You know how broken Sarah is, but You are not broken, God.”

No, while I am falling apart, Jesus holds me together. He is not stressed out or taken off guard. He is in control and He is good. I couldn’t stop crying because the love of Jesus was too overwhelming! When you are enveloped by God’s love there are simply no words. I think that is a slice of what Heaven will be like. We will be overwhelmingly beautiful in His awesome, glorious  presence.

JESUS sees You.
JESUS knows You.
JESUS Loves You.
“The LORD is my shepherd.
There is nothing I lack.
He lets me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside quiet waters.
He renews my life
He leads me along the right paths for His name’s sake.
Even when I go through the darkest valley,
I fear no danger,
For You are with me.
You rod and Your staff-
They comfort me.
You prepare a table before me
In the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
My cup overflows.
Only goodness and faithful love
Will pursue me
All the days of my life,
And I will dwell in the house of the LORD
As long as I live.”
Psalm 23
Holman Christian Standard Bible

 

 

❤ Anna

He is Waiting, With Open Arms

20190711_080011As I stood over the oven as my momma took the chicken out of the oven, as she had a thousand times before: something hit me.  Below my sincere excitement to marry my childhood sweetheart was the realization that I was leaving. When I get married, I will not be with my family and though they will always love me, it won’t be the same anymore.
I was reminded that God is with me. He is here, right now. My Jesus, Abba Father is with me as I prepare for this next chapter. When I think waiting is too hard, Jesus is with me. When I don’t understand, Jesus is with me.  When I move away Jesus will be with me as I start my new life and attempt to take the chicken out of my own oven. 🙂  My Jesus will be with my mom as she pours her afternoon cup of coffee alone and  prays for me. It’s a sad knowing that as an adult I cannot have all those I cherish near at the same time.  I will probably always miss someone. Some days I miss my grandpa in ways I haven’t  before. I wish he was here to share in these special moments of anticipation. But I am thankful for all the memories I had with him. Now these memories have become treasures I cherish.

It is such a comfort and a joy to know that my Jesus is always present. He is there in the quiet when no one sees, when no one hears. He is there in the moments of sheer joy and laughter. He is there amid our noisy, chaotic lives. He is there, with arms open. He is there when I am nervous and the lies creep in and the doubts dare to sabotage the Truth. Jesus is my protector as He covers me with His shield of Truth and reminds me of the promises of His Word. He is there. Waiting to be our refuge. Waiting and wanting to be our everything.

 

Recently, I have read Psalm 91. It’s  assuring to know of God’s sovereignty and personal protection. When I am too weak spiritually and physically, I must allow God’s Word to wash over me. When the lies come and sin entices me I want to saturate myself in His promises and cling to His Word.
“The one who lives under the protection of the Most High dwells in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the LORD, ‘My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.’ He Himself will deliver you from the hunter’s net, from the destructive plague. He will cover you with His feathers; you will take refuge under His wings. His faithfulness will be a protective shield.” Psalm 91:1-4 (2104) (HCSB)
Jesus is waiting and wants you to run to Him so that He can cover you. Is He your refuge tonight? Only He can truly satisfy.

Dear friend, I don’t know who you yearn for tonight. Maybe you ache for a child who has left home, or  for your marriage to be healed, or for a loved one who has died. Jesus is here. Jesus is waiting for you to run to Him. Jump into His loving arms. He is here. He is waiting. ❤

 

Anna. ❤

 

 

Holman Christian Standard Bible; The Study Bible for Women [Book]. – Nashville : Holman Bible Publishers , 2104.