He Restores My Soul


0506181918aDear Blog Readers,

You all have been so wonderful and supportive. Thank you for faithfully reading my blogs, sharing them, and commenting and liking my posts. In these ways you have inspired me and encouraged me. 🙂

Many of you know what it is like to be broken. I certainly do. But I also know what it is like to be healed by the blood and power of JESUS. He heals the broken hearted and sets the captives free! And so by His grace I published my first book entitled, He Restores My Soul.  I still in awe over what God has done. I look at this book and I think about a me. I think about  crying with my head on the cold steering wheel. I think about the utter feeling of helplessness and failure. Those that love with their whole hearts will hurt with their whole hearts. Jesus loved you and me enough to die and rise  again. He loved with His whole being and with every inch of His soul, but His body pained for every human past, present and future. He felt the sting of all our sins. But He chose to love us anyway. His arms are open ready for you to come to Him with absolute adoration and surrender.  Jesus loved me enough to rescue me from feelings of rejection and ugliness. He lifted me out of the miry clay and set my feet upon a rock.

So, I want to close by saying two things. First of all please buy my book.  The book is eight dollars before shipping.  Simply go to Amazon and type in Sarah Anna McConnelee or He Restores My Soul. It is a small book that hopefully will encourage your heart. ❤

The second thing I want to say is don’t run from God, run to Him. Don’t say that you are to far gone for God to use you. You are not!! He is the great Redeemer. Give Him your heart and your hurts and allow His saving grace to work through you.


Thank you again!



Sarah ❤

More Than Enough in His Eyes


More Than Enough in His Eyes
Sarah McConnelee 2016

There are dishes to be done
My floor is a mess
The windows are sticky
My clothes are not pressed
My child hasn’t been bathed since last week
And my husband is wondering when we will eat
Unaccomplished, grouchy, a mess is this right?
Was this the bargain when the prince and I drove off into the night?
Is life really worth all the hassle and struggle?
Soccer games, meetings, and laundry juggles?
How many nights have I gone to bed tired?
Hungry, and mad at not finishing my piles.
Where is the grace hidden behind the endless expectations?
Unending perfections?
When will my enough ever be louder than the expectations?
When will my good be enough to fill the world of its sorrow?
Enough to see me through till tomorrow?
With my messy hair and a heavy heart
I began to weep at how much I’m not.
Through my tears and my mascara stained face
I heard a whisper of the softest shades of grace.
You are more than enough in my eyes.
I rule the oceans, I rule the skies
I made color of your skin, I made the color of your heart
And I’ve known you before you had a start
It’s you I love and want to mesmerize
So, stop your tears
Look to me
My grace is enough
I came for thee
To set you free.
Free from complete perfections and free from inadequacy
Free from sin, free from people’s expectations
You are complete in me
I came to earth to set you free.
I died that you might live
Not just survive
Truly thrive
Now go live and
Follow me.
The whisper was gone
As well as my tears
Looking at the messy kitchen and my cranky child
Almost forgetting what I just had made my heart run wild
Closing my eyes, I prayed
Lord, make me yours
Make me new.
A smile was granted with strength fresh, anew
I knew God would help me get through.
I was not perfect but in God’s eyes I was enough.
I am His masterpiece
Still, a work unfinished.
I must allow Him to chip away all my selfish edges.
So, this Mother’s Day
Married, single, children or not
You are worth it
You are enough
Because of Jesus.
Happy Mother’s Day. 

John 3:16 Colossians 2:10, John 10:10, John 15:9-11 Galatians 5:1 Galatians 6:9 Eph.2:8-9, Romans 5:8.


To all the wonderful women out there, you are treasured and precious by the Lord Jesus. He loved you enough to die on the cross, rise again, giving you new life! I don’t know how today finds you. Maybe you are snuggled up on the couch with your lovely children that you keep you up and bring you joy simultaneously. Maybe you are looking out the window, anxiously awaiting for a child’s return. Maybe your hands are weary from praying for a wayward heart to return to Jesus. Maybe your heart is broken because you have lost your mother, or you have not been able to be a mother yourself.  Take heart dear one.  The Lord sees you. He knows your joys, and He sees your pain. Run into His arms. ❤

Hello Mr. Bumble


Aw, finally a moment of peace and quiet. Such a blessed treasure in my life. Can you relate? I eased my achy body into my cute patterned, prayer chair. I opened one of the four novels ,I was reading at the time, and deliciously opened the pages. Just as I was delving into the pages of my book, I heard a buzz buzz. Must be one of those rounds toys that the cat was playing with, I mused as I quickly returned to my book. The buzzing continued. I sat up in my chair and continued to read, I was not in the mood to be distracted. After a few seconds of very distracted reading I closed by book to investigate this noise. Under the window, I saw a struggling bumble bee. His wings fluttered and flitted. I didn’t want to touch him and definitely didn’t want to kill him. The thought of touching this insect scared me. I hate tiny, moving things!
Mr. Bumble finally recovered and in a few seconds was wildly doing circles around my bedroom. He was lost and terribly unsure of himself. He fumbled up and then down. Upon seeing Krystal, my brother’s snowy kitten, Mr. Bumble had the fortitude to flutter upward. I on the other hand was not handling Mr. Bumble very well. I obviously couldn’t sit down in my comfy chair again, as Mr. Bumble sometimes hovered right over my chair. The nerve of Mr. Bumble! I grabbed “The Best Yes” by Lysa Terkeurst and began traffic signaling the lost bee towards the door. However, I wouldn’t touch him. Because, like I said, I’m afraid of tiny, moving, things. Mr. Bumble didn’t understand that his best yes would be to follow me to the door! Finally, after many minutes of aimlessly flying, Mr. Bumble got stuck in my tall, reading lamp. Quickly, I unplugged the large, lamp, and made a dash for the door. Mr. Bumble, must have read my signals. I don’t think I could’ve been any clearer! 😊 He latched onto the screen and I bolted open the door. Thankfully, he agreed that his best yes would be to fly free.
I breathed a sigh of relief. Finally, my time of peace and quiet was at hand. I slumped back into my chair weary from my adventure with Mr. Bumble. I couldn’t help but becoming a little upset atthe passing of time worrying over a bumblebee. My time of perfect solitude was now reduced. But then I realized that maybe God had put this buzzing interruption in my life to teach my restless spirit. How many times do I wander, straying back and forth, failing to fly into the light of His providence, His love, and of His plan. Like Mr. Bumble, I try doing things in my own strength and my own timing, and I mess up miserably. When I’m in the center of God’s light, He will take me exactly where He wants me to go in the timing I’m supposed to be there. I worry and stress about the future, about upcoming projects, family situations, and the unknown. I cannot handle any of theses life situations on my own. I need the help of Jesus to get me through. We will never reach a point of spiritual maturity where we don’t need God to guide us. As we grow spiritually, we become more aware of what He wants, but we still must constantly be seeking Him.
So, maybe your wings are broken, and you are struggling to get out of bed in the morning, or weary just at the thought of moving forward. Trust me, I understand. I don’t know what heartaches, or uncertainties fog your viewpoint but run towards Jesus. He is the light and He will take you outside where you need to go. Trust after Him, even when you can’t see or have forgotten how to fly. Allow God to carry you. Let Him be your wings. He is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. The only way to get anywhere is to know Him and to bask in Him. Get sonburned with Jesus. Others should see that You have the glow of the Lord around you. If I try to spend time with God when I feel like it, it will never happen. To blossom spiritually, I must be in the center of Him, all the time.

Messy Ministry


Ministry is Messy.

I am slowly learning what ministry really means. Slowly, like a turtle with serious memory problems. It’s not really what I expected. It’s much more of a denial of self than anything else.  The other night, I only had four hours of sleep and needless to say I was grouchy. I was snoozing and in a good mood until
My mother called down the stairs asking for help in the kitchen. Due to my exhausted spirit, I had avoided the piling dishes on the counter along with the clean dishwasher that begged to be emptied, the messy table, and there were still dishes on the drain tray to be put away. Not to mention dinner had to be fixed.
I groaned thinking, the time most inconvenient.
When I came upstairs my mom pointed to the coffeepot. Whew, what a blessed relief.  I began to help with the mess, afterwards picking up my brother from work.
I learned something that day. Ministry is meaningful but not convenient. We cannot expect it to be. We cannot expect to only obey God when everything works out perfectly or when nothing else appears to be pressing. I used to see ministry as doing “big things” for God.  And obeying God in big areas of our lives is vital, but at the same time ministry is surrender in a million small choices every day.  True ministry works behind the scences and beneath the surface. It is the roots to the flowers that later blossom.
Ministry is serving.
It is listening to one more conversation that you’ve heard a million times before.
It is cleaning the kitchen one more time.

To be like Jesus I must listen, love, and give
Even when I’m tired and afraid.

If God has called you to something then be bold and go, knowing that it will be difficult, inconvenient, and beautiful. Because any size, shape, or form of ministry doesn’t go unnoticed by God.

“And whoever, wants to be first must be your slave-just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.” Matthew 20: 27-28.


Out of the Ashes, Beauty Will Rise.

sam_4166.jpg The dusty, smell of autumn filled the air like a warm bear hug. The wonder of autumn enticed me making me take a much-needed walk. After sitting for hours in conference sessions, it was time for an immersion in the fall perfect.
I didn’t have much time and so I quickened my pace. I strolled past all the cabins, past the people, and past all distractions. I saw a path on the right side of the road. I smiled and pretending I was ten again took it with a sense of adventure. I walked under a covered bridge and trailed up the path full of leaves. The path was full of leaves that the trees shed.  They had to drop all their beautiful layers. The trees still had their autumn allurement, but they were becoming bare as they dropped precious gems onto the path where I was walking. How like my own life, before I can grow, I must first shed each thing I hold dear. The shedding is necessary, so God can radically use me as a vessel only focused on Him, because He is all I have. I continued my journey enjoying the air of mystery and the aroma of adventure.

I found some steps which I eagerly ran up. It was a miracle I didn’t fall backwards from those slippery leaves. And then I saw it, the chapel at the top of the hill. My heart was warmed. This was what I’d long been yearning for. You can talk to God anywhere at any time. He’s always there. But I think there is something extra special about being alone with God in a church. Reverently I opened the door to the empty church. The emptiness didn’t bother me. God filled every square inch, in a way that I hadn’t noticed before. With an attitude of awe, I slipped into a pew. I simply sat there, taking in the beauty of His presence. I sensed God nudge me to go to the altar. So, I left my fifty- pound purse on the pew, and with only a paper, a pen, and my broken heart I obeyed. The last two weeks, God had tested me and tried me through a fire I didn’t want to walk through. God was making me into gold, but I was struggling to surrender. Like the autumn trees from before, God had been stripping me of all that I clung to.  I was like a tree, no leaves were left, only my branches reaching upwards in surrender. But out of the ashes God can redeem if only we let Him. So, I penned a letter to God, expressing my heart.
I wanted to linger, but I had to be somewhere soon, and I’d already walked a long way. I almost picked up my letter from God to keep. But I sensed that God wanted me to leave my note on the altar. It was like I had surrender my pain, and my desire to control. Leaving my baggage at the altar was like saying, okay Lord You take it. I surrender my control, my dreams, and my past. So, I eased myself up, grabbed my hefty purse, and silently strode out of the quiet cathedral. I turned back once, but I trusted that I could leave it all in His Almighty Hands.
I had to run back to my hotel, down the slippery steps, and past the bridge. But I didn’t mind. The run was worth it. I had made my peace with God and that was what I needed.
If you are broken, weary, or worn, run to Jesus.
If you are happy, excited and joyous, run to Jesus.
If you are afraid, anxious, and sick run to Jesus.

Take your desires and leave them at the foot of the cross. It is not until we have laid down our dreams that God can truly repair the old ruins into a vessel for His glory.
I know it’s spring time now. The trees have buds, the air is warmer, fresher, and more exciting. What does something from last fall have to do with spring time? In autumn the golden yellows, brash reds, and playful oranges must flourish and then fall one by one. Winter is a season where things appear dead. The trees continue to stand, but there are no leaves to clothe the barren, barked body. But though the winter is long, it is not a dormant time. This year winter seemed to drag, on and on and on. But God continued to work in nature during the winter as He worked in the winter of my heart. But spring always comes. Spring is a time for new life. It’s a time when new dreams are reborn. So, don’t despise the long winter. Spring is most beautiful when the winter has been long and harsh. When God asked you to lay aside your dreams, it seemed painful, and maybe even pointless. And then came the winter. You shivered and shook. All you had was God to lean on. He was the one to comfort you and sustain you through the long dark night of the long winter. But then Spring peeked her head up. Out of your sorrows flowers were born. And now you can stand tall, as a blossoming tree, a testament to how God uses the broken. I know because He is still using me. ❤


Week 6: All Things Made New


Week 6: All Things Made New
How does one sleep through the darkest night? Anna didn’t know. Sweat and tears marred her face. Her hair stuck awkwardly to her chin and cheeks, painting a rather unattractive picture. Anna was crumpled on the earthen floor in her father’s room. It was where she had fallen asleep last night. She was still clutching her father’s cloak from the night before. For a moment, Anna couldn’t remember what day it was. The atrocities from the days before had crushed of all the world’s time. Sunday, it was Sunday. Everything came rushing back like a crushing wave. Anna knew her life would never be the same again. She quickly arose. Her knees throbbed and her back ached, but she would have to deal with the pain. After brushing her hair, Anna grabbed some of her mother’s aloe and ran to the tomb of Jesus. The sky was still dark, and the stars continued to sparkle with a wink of hope. Anna strode faster, passing the notorious Olive tree. Her heart unexpectedly  exploded and she began to cry. Everyone who she had cherished was no gone: her mother, her father, Luca, and now Jesus. What was to   become of her? As Anna hurried to the tomb, she wearily searched her mind for any of the old prophecies that her father had told her. If only she paid more attention!
As Anna bended the curve before the tomb, thoughts of worry flooded her thinking. How was she to get away from the guards? She reached the tomb, but then the earth vomited the ground. Anna fell to the ground. When Anna rubbed her eyes and came to her senses she saw the two guards passed out on the ground. The boulder had been moved over and an angel was seated on it. Out of the corner of her left eye, Anna tried to look at him, but he was so bright that she couldn’t for long. He was bright for lightening. It was as if he had just been in the presence of God Himself. Anna covered her face with her shawl. Darkness was now a memory of the past. The true light had come, shattering any form of din that dared to stand in the way.
“Anna, do not be afraid. Jesus sent me to tell you that He is alive, just like he told you.” The angel’s voice rippled and flowed like water. His words were deeply ethereal creating a presence of awed reverence.
Anna continued to shake. She couldn’t yet process the angel’s words. Could Jesus really be alive?
The angel swooped down from the large boulder and gracefully took Anna’s hand.
“What I tell you is true. Come and see.”
Together they walked into the sepulcher. Anna tenderly touched the empty bed. When she turned around, the angel was gone.
Anna ran out of the tomb. She had to tell someone!

Anna’s sandaled, sweaty feet flew across the dusty road. She wasn’t looking where she was going, and she collided into Luca.
Unlike her normal self Anna sputtered out, “Have you seen Jesus? He’s alive! Can you believe it !”
“Yes, Anna. Yes. I’ve seen Him.” Luca’s voice softened, and his eyes glowed with a level of understanding that Anna had never seen.
Anna backed away. She was afraid to get to close to him again. Anna could see that Luca had seen Jesus. The change in him was undeniable and it made him more attractive than before.
“Anna, I’m sorry about what happened before. I know I wasn’t man enough to tell you to your face. But I’ve changed. Now I’ve met Jesus. You were always right. He is the Messiah. I’ve seen Him. I touched the nail scars on His hands.”
Anna smiled. Her prayers had been answered. The seed she had planted had not gone to waste.
“Anna, Sophia and I have decided that some stories are best meant to be closed. Sophia and I are going are separate ways now. But she wanted to thank you for your help the other night. I’m supposed to be going to a meeting with the chief priests and with the head centurion. But I think I’m going to quit being a Roman solider and do something simple like being a carpenter. I’ve heard so many rumors. All the Roman soldiers are trying to find a way to cover that Jesus really is alive. I’m not about to spend the rest of my life living a lie.
Anna smiled and nodded slowly. How could this be happening?
“I’m going to see Jesus. Won’t ‘you walk with me?”

Anna took Luca’s extended hand and together they faced the dawn. With their eyes fixed on Jesus they knew they would not fail.








Week 5: At the Foot of the Cross


“Anna, Anna, did you hear?” Tirzah the little girl from next door said anxiously as she ran quickly down the street.
“Hear what?”, Anna shouted back.
“They are going to kill Jesus! There are even rumors that they plan to crucify Him!”
Anna refused to let the words penetrate her soul. Tirzah was a sweet child, and not one to stretch the truth, but perhaps Tirzah had heard wrong. Jerusalem was known for their incorrect gossip.
“Tirzah, wait!”.
Tirzah came back to Anna’s house. Anna’s fingers trembled as she prepared a few food items in a basket. It was always wise to be prepared, though she doubted she could ever eat again. She had no idea how long they would be gone.
“Hurry Anna!”
Anna grabbed her father’s cloak that still hung by the door.
Tirzah yanked Anna’s hand and together they ran down the dead, empty streets of Jerusalem. Everyone wanted to see Jesus.
Anna was grateful that the child knew exactly where to go. Anna was worried that she would’ve simply sat down and cried.
Tirzah brought Anna to the courtyard right outside the judgement seat where criminals were sentenced to death. Anna inwardly hoped that Pilate and King Herod would release Jesus. After all it was evident that He was not a criminal! Anna saw Pilate and Herod in the center. On either side of them was Jesus and Barabbas. Barabbas was the notorious criminal of Jerusalem. He had been in and out of prison since before Anna could remember. The look of Barabbas’s face was apathetic, he was used the normal procedures. The look on Jesus’s face was full of pain and deep sorrow. Anna wanted to cry. She couldn’t yet force herself to look into His eyes.
A hush fell over the crowd as Pilate stood up to speak.
“Neither, Herod or I find any fault in this man. We plan to release Jesus to you since it’s custom that someone is released on the week of the Passover.”
“Barabbas, we want Barabbas!” The silent crowds turned violent as they shouted for Barabbas’s release. Barabbas grinned a cocky grin as he side-glanced Jesus.
Pilate tried to calm the people, but to no avail. “Jesus has done nothing wrong. Let’s release Him”. Pilate’s soft-spoken words were lost in the abyss of screams.
Anna had hoped that Pilate’s good intentions would appease the people, but it did not.
“Crucify Him! Crucify Him!”
“For what reason? This man has done nothing to be deserving of death at all and certainly not such a cruel death as this”!
“Crucify Him! Crucify Him!”
Pilate looked distressed and Anna saw fear in his eyes. Pilate wanted to release Jesus, but he knew that his job and his life were at stake.
“Alright, we will crucify Him”.
Anna feared she would faint, so she clutched Tirzah’s hand. Tirzah squeezed back. Anna saw all the people that had shouted that Jesus be crucified. They were the same people that had praise His name last Sunday. They were the same people that had been healed by His hand, who had eaten the bread He had broken, or watched him raise Lazarus from the dead. What had happened to their loyalty?
The Romans soldiers roughly grabbed Jesus. They shoved the cross at Him and forced Him to walk. Anna and Tirzah were told to back away. They both found Mary the mother of Jesus and other men and women that loved Jesus. Anna wouldn’t leave Jesus. It didn’t matter how much turmoil she was in. She had to be near Him.

The clouds were dark, ominous, and billowing. The Via Dolorosa looked different than a week before. There were people lining the streets, but they were not shouting words of joy but of curses and insults.
Tirzah held tightly to Anna’s hand. Jesus continued to bear the cross. Anna wished to scream and tell everyone to stop. This was Jesus, not some criminal! Once, the weight of it was to much and He collapsed on the cobblestone street. His body was laid in a heap. Before Anna knew what she was doing she left Tirzah and knelt down near Jesus. She poured some water from her flask that she had sense enough to pack hours ago. She poured the water on Jesus’s hair and into His mouth. She wanted to speak, but she couldn’t. Her tears continued to flow. Jesus looked at her with such compassion. It was as if He was suffering for her.
Quickly, Anna was roughly brushed aside by the brawny arms of one of the Roman soldiers. Anna gasped and screamed. “Why are you doing this?” Anna’s face turned white when she saw Luca. She shook her head. Before she could utter a word, Luca disappeared. His face was stoic. To him Jesus was simply another criminal. It wasn’t right! It wasn’t right! If only she could stop this cruelty! For a few minutes or maybe an hour Anna simply stood there stunned. Suddenly she came to her senses. Where was Tirzah? Suddenly, she spotted the little girl’s pink dress.
“Come Anna. They have taken to the cross.”
Anna wanted to say no. But she wouldn’t leave Jesus. He was all He had.
Meekly Anna followed. She saw Jesus hanging on a wooden cross. He was stripped, bleeding, and dying.

Anna found the small group of Jesus followers. Tirzah ran to be with her weeping mother and father. Anna bravely ventured toward the cross. Maybe her presence would provide Jesus with ounce of comfort.
Anna stood at the foot of the cross. The rain continually washed away the blood that resurfaced and stained the body of her Savior.
She saw Sophia crumpled by an Olive tree. She was separated from the other onlookers. Anna’s heart went out to her. But first she ran to the cross.
“Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” Luke 23:34.
Forgiveness. Forgiveness. Jesus, who was nailed to the cross was able to forgive, and Anna realized that for so long she’d been unable to forgive her father for dying, Sophia for being more beautiful, and Luca for rejecting her.
But if her innocent Jesus could forgive while bleeding on a cross why couldn’t she?
“I’m sorry Jesus, so sorry. I forgive them.” Her grudges now seemed like just a drop of water amidst an ocean. Anna knew Jesus had spoken the words just for her. Her tears made it difficult to see.
Now she knew what Jesus wanted her to do. Wiping away her tears, she walked tenderly over to Sophia. Sophia hadn’t moved positions in the past few minutes. The rain had messed up her perfectly matted red hair.
Anna stood near her not quite knowing what to say.
Sophia looked up. Her face was devoid of all color.
“Are you alright?”
“No, no, I’m not.”
“Sophia, I know that it doesn’t make sense, but Jesus is dying for us. He loves you and me.”
“That much?”
“More than that much. We just have to bow at His feet and call Him Lord.”
“No, no, I don’t want to call a dying Jesus Lord. That’s crazy.”
“But Sophia, it has long been foretold that Jesus would die but
Sophia quickly ran away. She didn’t want to hear another word.

She loved Jesus so, but she needed to get away. Thinking of her father, she ran to the temple. She clutched her father’s cloak tightly to her hoping to block out the terrible day. It only it was a dream. Anna knew there was a prophecy about Jesus coming to die. Which one was it? Anna ran to the temple, she had to find out.
By the time she reached the deserted temple, darkness blanketed the land. There was no hope of finding her father’s scrolls here. Anna stood in the temple and wept bitterly.
And then Anna saw it. She blinked her eyes three times to make sure it was true. The veil of the temple curtain tore in two from top to bottom. As a little girl, her father always told her never to go into the holy of holies. Only the highest priest was allowed in once a year. Her father had been in once. Anna remembered her father’s face glowed. But now, now, the divide was broken. Anna realized that she didn’t need to find the scrolls. Now she knew. Jesus died on the cross to break the divide between God and man. She knelt alone in the holy of holies and wept. “Thank you, Jesus. Thank you.”
Luca sighed. Something about this night was not right. Crucifixion was a part of his normal duties as a Roman solider, but never darkness covering the land so early in the day.
For the past few hours, Luca had stood guard at the foot of the three crosses. Jesus, the man in the middle was different. Luca knew that Anna adored and followed Him. But what was the reason to have Him crucified. Luca knew he couldn’t question Pilate or Herod, but it wasn’t right. Sure, Jesus had overthrown the moneychangers in the temple, but they shouldn’t have been there in the first place. Luca saw Sophia and Anna out of the corner of his eye. Anna was talking to his girlfriend! Luca knew that something was up. Anna had her comforting face on. She looked like she was soothing her and pointing her to the cross. It was ironic, but Luca knew that Sophia was in good hands. But mostly Luca couldn’t take his eyes off Jesus. It just didn’t make sense.
“Father, ‘into Your hands I commit My spirit.’ “
In His eyes Luca saw peace. He saw the image of eternity. Luca had been watching Jesus’s rib cage struggling to go up and down. But after Jesus spoke, His body stopped. Luca knew He was dead.
Suddenly, the earth began to shake violently. Luca had no choice but to fall at the feet of Jesus.
The rain continued to pour. Luca’s face was flat on the ground beneath the cross. “Truly, this was the Son of God.” Luca began to cry. His foolishness shamed Him.