In the Darkest of the Night He Hears. In the Quiet of the Dawn, He Sees.


“I will lift up my eyes to the hills- From whence comes my help? My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth. “Psalm 121:1
My eyes gazed longingly at the periwinkle blue mountains and the strong trees at the top of the hill. The clouds draped themselves high above the atmosphere. The hill ran down toward the fence at the bottom of the hill and then up towards the mountains in the distance.
“My soul, wait silently for God alone, for my expectation is from Him. He only is my rock and my defense; I shall not be moved. In God is my salvation and my glory. The rock of my strength, and my refuge is in God. “ Psalm 62:5-7
No matter how many times I look out the windows at my grandma’s house, the mountains and the trees are always there, strong, proud, and protective. Seasons come and seasons go, and the mountains change hues, the sky can be fierce and angry or calm and caring. And somehow this peaceful scene reminds me of my Heavenly Father. Seasons come and go in my life. Sometimes my life is as a beautiful as a picture. Other times my life is rocky and confusing. But the Lord Jesus never changes. His arms are always open ready for me to run to Him.
“Jesus Christ is the same, yesterday, today, and forever.” Hebrews 13:8.

For those of you who know me I can fall asleep at the drop of a pin or the sound of a soft voice. That particular night however, I was restlessly tossing and turning. Regrets of my past were crashing over me, making me feel like a defeated failure who might as well quit now rather than disappoint God again. In the darkness of the night, God comforted me. He allowed my tears to slide off my cheeks. And in the middle of the night God forgave me and restored my soul.

Regardless of our circumstances God is still God. He is faithful and unchanging. Run to Jesus with a heart ready to repent and be restored. Let His love cover you.

“If we confess our sins He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9
“If we are faithless,
He remains faithful;
He cannot deny Himself.” 2 Timothy 2:13

If I can encourage you in anyway please let me know. Thank you for supporting me in my writing.

For His Glory,
Sarah ❤







God’ s mercies are new every morning, every week and every year. The same God that carried you through 2018 will stand by you each day of 2019.  Our circumstances will change ,but God is faithful and full of hope. God loves you so much! When Jesus died on the cross, He thought about you.

“But God demonstrated His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8

2018 held joys as well as difficulties for me as I’m sure it did for you. Just because a new year has begun doesn’t mean that the struggles of yesterday are completely erased. But I can choose to trust in the character of God.  My word for 2019 is hope.  My circumstances will waver and hardships will come but my hope can rest in the steady power of the God who carries me.

Happy New Year to you all! ❤

“But may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you.” 1 Peter 5:10










When God Bakes a Masterpiece


I smiled as the aroma of Nutmeg, Cinnamon and scintillating sprinkles of vanilla twirled around the kitchen and sifted into the dining room. As I began to soak my hands in the soapy water and wash the multitude of messy dishes I thought about how God mixes each of us together for His masterpiece and for His glory. There is nothing neat and orderly about how I cook. But I see the end result and how I want it to turn out. Many times, what I bake doesn’t work the way I had envisioned.
Unlike my kitchen disasters ( another time….:) God sees the bigger picture in each of our lives. He sees what each of us cannot see. I am not privy to the recipe that God has for my life. I know that He wants to cultivate in me the fruits of the spirit, and a flexible and willing heart that is completely surrendered to Him. But I do not know what methods He will do to make me holier and hopefully sweeter by His purest forms.
As individuals we are full of many moments. La Tascha, a strong godly woman, said that the trouble is when we get caught up in the moment and miss the eternal perspective. Each of our lives is like a beautiful masterpiece. Once we are saved we belong to Him but we have to give Him each piece of ourselves. We have to give God what we desire. We have to give Him our moments and our hours. Sometimes we have to put aside what we crave so we can commune with Him.  Lately God puts things into my life that I wouldn’t choose on my own. I want the end result of being more like Him, but I struggle to give God control of the ingredients that He can use. You know when you are baking or cooking and you have to wait for the butter to melt or the water to boil. It takes forever. It might seem like God does not care. If He did  understand what I wanted then He would not make certain things happen in my life. But if my life is surrendered to Him than the end result is not about what I want but about what will bring Him the most glory.

But God is so good. He sees the recipe and the end result. I wait and once all my ingredients are mixed together than God can make the miracle in my life. I come to the process of the purging and the waiting. Being made more like Christ hurts and stings. It is uncomfortable but as I burn I glow with the glory of Christ. Becoming more like Him is a gradual process that doesn’t happened over night. You slowly ooze out His love and become more intentional for the things of Christ.

In this crispy, autumn season God has been loving me through discipline. I would not add this to my baked goods list. But discipline and pain are necessary ingredients for me to become more in tune to His word with a heart beat pumping for my Savior. I don’t know what God is crafting in you this season, but surrender to Him and be more aware of His presence. Wake up in the morning and desire Him. Ask God to help you gracefully accept whatever He puts in your path for the day ahead. While I would rather avoid the frustrations that come as a result of my sin and this fallen world, I think that God’s adding something like patience and humility will make me stronger and help others grow in the long run.
“Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.” Hebrews 12:11.

Thank you so much for all your prayers as I walk through this teaching journey.
Much Love!
Sarah ❤


Grace Upon Grace



The most valuable investments in life take the most time, drain the most out of us and draw us nearer to God through faith. I say through faith because you can serve God and not see results for awhile. You have to trust God through what is unseen.  I love each one of my students. I love the glimpses of affection they show me or the look on their face when they finally grasp a concept. These moments fill my heart with joy and realization of why God brought me here.

But ministry is not easy. I think I saw the nobleness of following Christ before I saw the constant surrendering of self. Today after teaching  a student who was not interested I was discouraged.  I sighed as I began to erase the white board.

“Lord, this is so hard.”

“Sarah, was the cross easy? Was my coming to die something small?”

“No, Lord. No.”

God is humbling me, piece by piece, pride by pride. How can I complain of being tired and helpless when Jesus gave it all? He suffered, truly suffered so that each one of us could have the opportunity to personally know Him. There is no sacrifice to great for Jesus. None. The longer I am in ministry the more I get in the way of what God wants to accomplish. When God asks me to give and serve beyond what I think I am capable of I have a choice to lean on Jesus or be helpless in my own strength. Many times I choose the latter but I want to choose Jesus.

Do I want God to refine me? Or would I rather be shallow and comfortable and not challenged for the rest of my life? No, despite the cravings of my flesh, I want to be made holy in God’s sight. I want to be refined for Him.

Thank goodness that He is still working on me.

Thank you so much for your prayers.

❤ ❤


‘”My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”  2 Corinthians 12:9b

Flower Petals on the Pavement



20180826_133733It would take me years to write about everything God has taught me since my adventure of teaching began. I have been hit with a different environment where I can’t take a walk by myself at any time of day and especially not at night. The protection of a nice parking spot is completely vanished. Thankfuly I have yet to crash or wreck a car. I have had to learn by asking a lot of questions. God is stripping me of my pride and giving me the taste of humility.  My pride likes to think that I have absolutely everything under control. But I am learning that I must communicate and express my struggles as a teacher to get helped. That is what Jesus did on the cross. He gave up His pride so I could know Him. How precious.

All teacher movies have become comedys to me. There is no quiet, awed face on my children as I come in to teach. Ha ha. God is teaching me patience through these children. Solitude is a gift of long ago days. I am constantly surrounded by people, either at school, mandatory after school activities, or a congregation of people to serve at the house. Sleep is a pastime that I now dream about. Every minute of sleep is a precious, silent treasure. I drink more coffee than anyone should.The fact that I am writing a blog when I should be sleeping or lesson planning is also a gift. Everyday God asks for a little bit more of me. Everyday God asks for a little bit more of me to break. He is shattering my pride and selfish attitudes so I can be used by Him. I will not lie to you and say that my life is easy. It is not. It is difficult living and working with the same people and sometimes struggling with communication and knowing what others except of you can be difficult and pride stripping. It is difficult in a humbling way. The people I live and work with are kingdom champions. God comes before sleep, planning, food, and quiet moments of solitude. I have blessed to work with people that will stay up all night to ensure a child’s safety or to pray literally without ceasing. The more I am with such godly people the more of my flesh that I can see in myself.

I think God does not want us to live in a cycle of normal for to long because then He does not have room to work. God continually steps out of the neat little lines that I have put Him in. God is not man to be placed somewhere. God is everywhere and wants to overflow your universe if you let Him. So, while these last few weeks have been the most challenging they have also been the most rewarding. The presence of God is everywhere. You do not have to look far to see Him at work.
One morning this week I was driving to school. It was a miracle that I had my cup of coffee and a bite to eat or that I had anything even remotely planned to teach my students. I was feeling overwhelmed. How was I going to properly challenge and love my students all the while keeping them in line and teaching them discipline? I drove to school to see the streets full of children walking to school. Some of the girls were caked in makeup hoping that others would see them as older, more mature, and that a guy would notice them. You could see the learning for love peeking out from behind mascara model eyelashes. I saw little children walking alone to school. I was afraid that something would happen to them. I saw the faces of the older people sitting on their stoops. Their faces hardened and listless, and devoid of purpose. They seemed well enough to work, but the rocks of discouragement and the arrows of sin had blinded their eyes to see the truth of God that was right before their eyes. Oh, how I prayed that I would be opened. God began to open my sheltered eyes and guarded heart. He has taken me from my ivory tower that I longed to stay in. The longer I am here the greater I see the need of the people around me. They are hungry hungry for God. But they do not know it. The longer I am here the more helpless I feel. But I am okay with feeling helpless. I would rather live a life where every day I must give every ounce of my energy to Him than a boring life where I feel like I can manage. This feeling of helpless inadequacy is one more thing that I can bring to God. These children and the people of my city will no means come to God except through Him. God does not have to use us. He chooses to. “For God has chosen the lowly things of the world to shame the wise.”

My education has not prepared me for the muddy, messiness of ministry. But He is with me. Nothing in life will fully prepare us for the challenges that God will put before us. Time and time again I have felt ill-equipped for the task. The hardest thing for me is living a life of constant change. I like my life to be perfectly planned out so that I know what will happen. I think we all like the idea of a perfectly scheduled and predictable life. But God continues to break the box that I continue to put Him in. Over and over again He reminds me that He is unchanging and that He is above what might be stressing me. The school that I am in makes it nearly impossible to have the walls of perfect stability. I asked God to stretch me and He has. For sure and for certain. I am like playdough in my Master’s hands. He moves me and twists me in directions I would never have chosen on my own. He is making me into more of His creation rather than an imitation of what I think I should be, God is allowing me to be the real thing.
“casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for You.” 1 Peter 5:7
Do not hide your eyes to the brokenness around you. Ask God to break your heart and open your eyes.

Thank you so much for all you prayers. It is by grace that I have been saved. And thankfully I can live by God’s grace. When God sees me, He chooses to see the blood of Jesus stamped upon my heart. Thank you Lord for the cross.


Much Love ❤ ❤

Sarah ❤

Climbing Out of the “Ivory Tower”


Do you ever feel that you that you have become calloused to the pain of others? I certainly have. Sometimes when life is going great I like to pretend that I’m in a bubble and don’t want to hear about the rest of the problems of the world. During these happy moments I don’t want to watch the news to see the children suffering and the police wars. Notice I said happiness instead of joy. I think the joy of Christ is steady and contagious. Joy is not based on circumstances but on the steadiness and unchanging nature of Christ. When I’m in a state of ice-cream euphoria I’m also less likely to truly listen to another friend’s struggle. I might be present in body but not truly empathizing and sympathizing with their pain.
“A time to kill, and a time to heal;
A time to break down, and a time to build up.
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn , and a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones ,and a time to gather stones;
A time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing.” Ecclesiastes 3:3-5.

When I’m walking through a trying moment, ( trivial or something more heartbreaking and life altering) I avoid World News and any hint of sadness in anyone else’s life. It makes me feel helpless to see starving children or families shattered because of bombs. I feel like I am drowning in a state of helplessness because I know I can’t cure the world of its sorrow. Instead of looking to Jesus and bringing the politicians, hurting children, or the stressed friend to Him in prayer I put up walls of stone, blocking out any feelings of love or empathy. I remember one time in my life when I was crawling through a heartbreak. The family was watching the news during dinner. Usually I love watching David Muir reporting on the news of the world and making cities on the map real and personable. But that night, I had to choke just to get my hot soup down. It was the day of the shooting in Nevada. As I watched the terror play out on the television my own heartbreak seemed magnified. I watched in horror as people ducked for cover trying to avoid the bullets that flew from the hotel window. In a strange way, I felt like I was ducking for cover too, trying to avoid bullets of rejection.
“My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. “James 1:2-4.

For a few years I only watched comedy, steering away from tear jerkers and chick flicks. But you know watching comedy and ignoring the pain of the world does not make it go away.

“We can try to persuade ourselves that evil doesn’t exist; live for ourselves and wink at evil. We can say that it isn’t so bad after all, maybe even try to call it fun by clothing it in silks and velvets. We can compromise with it, keep quiet about it and say it’s none of our business. Or we can work on God’s side, listen for His orders on the strategy against evil, no matter how horrible it is, and know that He can transform it.”
Ms. Alice from Christy by Catherine Marshall pg. 103.

I can also shut my ears and eyes spiritually. I can pretend that Hell is not real and refuse to speak about Jesus and the Gospel. Ouch. I can shut my ears, eyes, and heart and pretend not to see the suffering in the eyes of the girl next to me. I can shut my ears and eyes and pretend that my sin doesn’t affect or hurt anyone including God.
But living with my eyes shut and my ears closed doesn’t produce the fruit that is necessary for one of God’s children. I cannot grow and be a godly example if I refuse to see and hear the pain of those around me. My apathy proves to those that don’t know Christ that Christianity is all about me. I must ask God to take my hands off my eyes and that He would guide my feet, so I can act to do His will. Am I willing for God to break my heart at the pain of others? Am I willing to feel helpless at the sorrow of others? While it’s frustrating feeling helplessly heartbroken it is a way of giving control to Him. I must give God the heartache of all my friends and the pain of the world.

“Casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7.

Jesus Himself refused to stop His ears and close His eyes. Rather Jesus opened His heart and allowed it to bleed for you and me. When Jesus died on the cross, paying our sin debt He had to leave the comforts and security of Heaven. Jesus could have stayed in Heaven and ignored the sinfulness of people, but instead He chose to pay the price He knew we couldn’t pay. In Mark 6 when Jesus saw the multitudes, He was moved with compassion and did something about it. Jesus fed the multiples and began to teach them about Himself.

“And Jesus, when He came out, saw a great multitude and was moved with compassion for them, because they were like a sheep not having a shepherd. So He began to teach them many things.” Mark 6:34.

He didn’t simply feed them food for their physical body but also food for the soul. (Lysa Terkeurst/Uninvited) This was right after John the Baptist was beheaded. Jesus must have been grieving. He was going to go to a quiet place to rest and maybe mourn. Mark 6:30. But instead He had compassion on the multitudes and made a difference. Wow. Jesus chose to heal others in the midst of His own sorrow. Yes, Jesus is completely God, but while He was on earth He was human too. Jesus understands what it is like to grieve. Yet, Jesus still chose to step outside of His grief and feed a multitude. I cannot ease the aches of those around me on my own, but Jesus can. First I must ask God to take my eyes off myself and see the suffering of others. I cannot make a godly impact unless I am willing to see pain and am willing to trust Jesus, the only healer of our souls.

God, give me the strength to walk in your ways and make a difference. Give me eyes to see the pain around me. I cannot help those around me. Only You can Lord. But I am willing to be used by You.

“It was God who was prying the little girl’s hands off her eyes. As if He was saying, ‘I can’t use ivory tower followers. They’re plaster of paris, they crumble and fall apart in life’s press. So, you’ve got to see life the way it really is before you can do anything about evil. You cannot vanquish it. I can. But in My world the battle against evil has to be joint endeavor. You and Me. I, God in you, can have the victory every time. ‘After that He was always right there beside me, looking at the dreadful sights with compassion and love and heartbreak. His caring and His love were to real for bitterness to grow in me.”

Ms. Alice from Christy. pg 101-102.

If you are hurting tonight, run to Jesus. Cry out to Him. Give Him your grief, your pain, your joys, and your beautiful memories. Allow Him to cradle your heart in His. ❤ ❤


When He Calls Your Soul upon the Sand


The sea is full this afternoon. It never runs dry no matter how many times it crashes upon the shore giving, giving of its self once more. The shore never runs dry no matter how many times the waves reach forward to grab it. The sandy shore stands firm, guarding the land.
I love going to the ocean as I am sure you do too. People of all backgrounds flock here every year. Many of them are different colors, speak different languages, and come from many far away places. Yet each year the ocean calls them. People may not know it, but I think God calls them to the ocean. You cannot gaze at the ocean and not know that God is just as real and influential in our lives. Many people will say they come to the ocean to relax, think, flirt, have fun, to have a pizza picnic, go shopping, build a sandcastle, make memories with their family, or race up and down the seashore. But I think the real reason people come to the beach is to know God in a deeper more intimate way. If you are still you can know that He is God. I think that many times people of this day and age are afraid to be still. They are afraid to face reality. “Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” Psalm 46:10. “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore, we will not fear, even though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea.” Ps. 46:1-2.
The ocean is God’s way of calling all of us closer to His heart. For those of us who have been in fellowship with Him for a while the ocean draws us to drop worldly distractions and simply sit at His feet and listen to His heartbeat. God uses the storm, the sweet evening breeze, the morning sun, and the constant waves to teach me who He is. For those who don’t know Christ, the ocean is a way of speaking the name of Jesus over and over again. We keep turning away from Christ. But He continually washes His love upon us asking us to go deeper with Him. JESUS died on the cross and rose again. He comes for us asking us to lose ourselves completely in Him and to go deeper in Him. Nature never grows weary of praising the name of Jesus. Never. “For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes are clearly seen, being understood by that things that are made, even His eternal power and Godhead, so that they are without excuse.” Romans 1:20.



Last night I stood on the balcony transfixed on the movement of the waves. God has blessed me beyond measure and I am grateful. But sometimes I think the holes in my life seem bigger than other times. I am thankful that there are spots in my life that feel incomplete or empty. Because than I am ready to be filled by God. When a child digs a hole in the sand, the water soon comes and fills it. The sandy hole is moist but not full of water after a minute because the water drains out. That is like me. Once I am saved I am forever saved. But being filled with the presence of Jesus is a daily choice. I can choose to be filled with me and what I want when I want it, or I can choose to be filled with Him. Choosing Jesus is a constant battle. Sometimes I do what’s right and sometimes I do not. As I stood on the balcony last night I felt God calling me closer. I confessed some of my longings to God and my fears for the future. I could hear the lapping of the waves upon the darkened shore and knew that the same God the made the sea would guide my heart closer to Him and closer to His ways.
“Delight yourself also in the Lord and will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4.
I am learning to delight, and Jesus is giving me more of Himself. Thank you Jesus!

❤ ❤


Sarah ❤