Though I am Weak


“The crucible for silver and the furnace for gold, but the LORD tests the hearts” Prov. 17:3.

I read this verse this morning while sipping my coffee. Outside the world was bleak and dreary and the inside of me was depleted in every way imaginable. This verse made me think about the diamond, the pearl, and the standards of holiness that I long for as God’s child.  What girl doesn’t like a diamond or a pearl? But first the stone must be purged.


“The kingdom of heaven is like treasure, buried in a field, that a man found and reburied. Then in his joy he goes and sells everything he has and buys that field. Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant in search of fine pearls. When he found one priceless pearl, he went out, and sold everything he had, and bought it” Mt. 13:44-45.

These verses above are about the kingdom of God. You have to seek the Lord with all your heart. Jer. 29:13. He is a fine treasure to be sought with all you have.

These verses make me think about holiness and purity. Be a woman that must be sought after. Where one must leave all to find you. Are you the kind of woman that is courageous enough to rise above the standards to be the woman that God has called you to be? It is never easy to be different for God but it is eternally worth it to be different for Him. Browse through an old History book. The heroes of the past were always people that rose above the status quo. Always. Nothing great is accomplished if you want to be like everyone else. Greatness happens when you  trust God with everything and dare to rise above easy and pursue HIM.

The pearl must be cleansed again


And once more.

According to the perfecting process of a pearl can take up to three years.

Till it is refined.



When you see and touch a true, genuine pearl it’s so fragile and yet so strong and resilient. It is a true beauty. Oh, how I long to be that as a woman.

You see I believe that a true beauty is a rare treasure. I think that in society today true, inner beauty of a gentle, quiet, godly spirit is not esteemed. It is thought that beauty is found by skimming the surface of one’s walk with God, barley making it with The Kings of Kings who is enthralled with your beauty. Ps. 45:11. True beauty is refined again and again by the Master’s hand. True beauty is a life that has surrendered to God while being molded through the waters of suffering. But a truly beautiful woman doesn’t allow herself to become bitter. The hardships do not define her. The people who rejected her do not define her. Her king of kings and Lord of Lords defines her as He continuously makes her more beautiful. True beauty does not come cheaply. Elisabeth Elliot said it best when she said that it was not with mere silver and gold that Jesus bought you. Oh, no. He paid for you it with His Life, with His blood, and with the sweat of His tears. Jesus paid it all. He suffered for those who spat in His face. He suffered for me even though I continuously tear down Jesus by my words, thoughts, and actions. True beauty doesn’t come cheaply.  True beauty comes through a life refined through the fire.

Everyone goes through discomfort and trials. It is unavoidable in life. We can choose to harden and become bitter or be flexible and allow God to shape us. Don’t allow your trials to be a waste. I had to thank God for my daily pain. It is so easy for me to complain or become self-focused because of my pain. But in my weakness, He is strong! 2 Cor. 12:9. Through my suffering I don’t just know God is good and faithful, I experience it first-hand. When I think I’m going to pass out. He sustains me. He guides me. And friend, He is so faithful! Through my weakness I want Christ to be magnified in my life. I want my life to be like a stained-glass window. When people see me, I want them to see my weakness. I want them to see God do things in my life that are only God because I am to weak and unworthy. Though the cutting away of my sin and spiritually immature ideas is painful, I think it allows me to be more beautiful in His eyes. “Every branch in Me that does not produce fruit He removes, and He prunes every branch that produces more fruit” John 15:2.  My friend put it best when he said that we ask God to make us more like Him and then God takes away whatever was distracting our focus of God. But then we complain or are surprised by the purging. We must let patience have it’s perfect work so that we may be complete in Him. “Consider it a great joy, my brothers, whenever you experience various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience, but let patience have its perfect work that you may be perfect (mature) and complete lacking nothing” James 1:2-3.

“Now may the God of all grace, who has called us to His glory by Christ Jesus will perfect, establish, strengthen, and comfort you after you have suffered awhile” 1 Peter 5:11.

My life is temporary and so short. I don’t know how long I will be here. I hope I will be here to pass the torch to the next generation but only God knows. He holds my future. I must live each day with eternal purpose even in the midst of my suffering. ❤






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